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Thursday, January 30, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
रिश्तों के मेषर्मेंट
आज
शिवि से बात करते हुए....शिवि.. मेरी बहुत ही प्यारी सी दोस्त, एक चीज़
रीयलाइज़ हुई... की कॉन्फिडेन्स होने या दिलाने के लिए चीज़ों का पुख़्ता
होना ज़रूरी नही है !
हमें मिले हुए 3.5 साल हो गये अभी..कभी कभी महीनों बाद बात करते हैं...मगर हर बार ऐसे ही जैसे बस कल रात ही बात हुई हो...बात करते समय अक्सर वो कह देती है "तुझे तो पता ही है मेरा...".. और सच में कभी कभी मुझे पता नही होता... कभी कभी शायद मैं उस आइडिया से अन्भिग्य होती हूँ.. मगर वो एक मोमेंट का कॉन्फिडेन्स जब वो दिखाती है मुझमें...मुझे ऐसा नहीं लगता की मैं उसे मना कर दूं... बल्कि मैं उस आइडिया को और ज़्यादा रिलेट करने लगती हूँ आज से कल से बातों से... और उसके कॉन्फिडेन्स को पुख़्ता करती हूँ... पर इसमें एक बात समझ आती है..... कभी कभी वो एक मोमेंट का कॉन्फिडेन्स आपको किसी के साथ बस जोड़ देता है... शायद उसे भी पता हैं श्रेया ये नहीं जानती मेरे बारे में मगर कोई कॉन्फिडेन्स है उसको की वो बस बोल देती है "तू तो जानती ही हैं ना..."... शायद उसको भी पता है कि ये समझ जाएगी....
कभी कभी पुख़्ता करना ज़रूरी नही... बस भरोसा ही करना होता है.... पर शायद उसके पीछे भी कोई ज़मीन तो रही होगी.... शायद व्यापार ही है रिश्ता भी कि आप एक ज़मीन के दायरे में भावनायो का लेना देना करते हो.... पर ये व्यापार भी अपने में ही खरा है...... एक अपना ऑटोमॅटिक सा फिल्टर सिस्टम है इसका जो आपको समझा देता है कि आपको ये आदान प्रदान करना भी किस खरीदार के साथ है.....ठीक है ना एक आध जगह कभी चूक हो भी जाती होगी...अब हर शह तो सिक्स सिग्मा सर्टिफाइड नही होती.... पर फिल्टर होते होते बस वही कुछ खरीदार बच जाते हैं ....आपकी भावनायो के रेग्युलर कस्टमर बन जाते हैं जो आपके फिल्टर सिस्टम से बिना पुष्टि के .... आपकी ज़ुबान के भरोसे पे रिश्ता पुख़्ता किए जाते हैं.... बाकी तो बस कॅल्क्युलेशन ही है वक़्त की .... विसिनिटी की ..... पर्सेप्षन्स की !!
हमें मिले हुए 3.5 साल हो गये अभी..कभी कभी महीनों बाद बात करते हैं...मगर हर बार ऐसे ही जैसे बस कल रात ही बात हुई हो...बात करते समय अक्सर वो कह देती है "तुझे तो पता ही है मेरा...".. और सच में कभी कभी मुझे पता नही होता... कभी कभी शायद मैं उस आइडिया से अन्भिग्य होती हूँ.. मगर वो एक मोमेंट का कॉन्फिडेन्स जब वो दिखाती है मुझमें...मुझे ऐसा नहीं लगता की मैं उसे मना कर दूं... बल्कि मैं उस आइडिया को और ज़्यादा रिलेट करने लगती हूँ आज से कल से बातों से... और उसके कॉन्फिडेन्स को पुख़्ता करती हूँ... पर इसमें एक बात समझ आती है..... कभी कभी वो एक मोमेंट का कॉन्फिडेन्स आपको किसी के साथ बस जोड़ देता है... शायद उसे भी पता हैं श्रेया ये नहीं जानती मेरे बारे में मगर कोई कॉन्फिडेन्स है उसको की वो बस बोल देती है "तू तो जानती ही हैं ना..."... शायद उसको भी पता है कि ये समझ जाएगी....
कभी कभी पुख़्ता करना ज़रूरी नही... बस भरोसा ही करना होता है.... पर शायद उसके पीछे भी कोई ज़मीन तो रही होगी.... शायद व्यापार ही है रिश्ता भी कि आप एक ज़मीन के दायरे में भावनायो का लेना देना करते हो.... पर ये व्यापार भी अपने में ही खरा है...... एक अपना ऑटोमॅटिक सा फिल्टर सिस्टम है इसका जो आपको समझा देता है कि आपको ये आदान प्रदान करना भी किस खरीदार के साथ है.....ठीक है ना एक आध जगह कभी चूक हो भी जाती होगी...अब हर शह तो सिक्स सिग्मा सर्टिफाइड नही होती.... पर फिल्टर होते होते बस वही कुछ खरीदार बच जाते हैं ....आपकी भावनायो के रेग्युलर कस्टमर बन जाते हैं जो आपके फिल्टर सिस्टम से बिना पुष्टि के .... आपकी ज़ुबान के भरोसे पे रिश्ता पुख़्ता किए जाते हैं.... बाकी तो बस कॅल्क्युलेशन ही है वक़्त की .... विसिनिटी की ..... पर्सेप्षन्स की !!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
My 40 day challenge to myself
Yea, may be my Arien character needs to be challenged to accomplish something. I am out of writing habit, frequency as low as our PM's speech and to keep myself motivated and test, i have challenged myself to write atleast once in a day for next consecutive 40 days. Yes, I did write something today.. I won't expect myself to give up on the very first day. Besides writing, i tried consolidating my blogs and just realized how bad I am at organizing .. no in a precise term ..letting things go.. To satisfy the aesthetic assortment and my so called habit of categorizing or filing things, i have created 4 blogs (numerous enough compared to total number of posts) and now when i am trying to make one master blog and consolidate all in one, I am such a lame that i can't dump any of these and ended up linking sub-blogs to my one blog. Ahhh.. why, because each of them has a different theme..too pathetic to qualify as a reason... but yeah it is. Wish each page could have a separate theme and my hunger of variety would be easily satiated. Now there is redundancy too... which i have to avoid in further posts.
While we are managing things, organizing things... and when we find ourselves too shy in dumping off unnecessary things, it comes up with a question - Is letting go that difficult ? Do we want to stick on things not by choice but by forceful compulsion of righteousness of making a choice ?
While we are managing things, organizing things... and when we find ourselves too shy in dumping off unnecessary things, it comes up with a question - Is letting go that difficult ? Do we want to stick on things not by choice but by forceful compulsion of righteousness of making a choice ?
Monday, September 17, 2012
Network of lives..
(September 20, 2009) : Consolidating blogs (Repost from: http://shreya.wordpress.com/)
Just as a random thought…what if ..what i am thinking is known to person standing besides me and vice versa. Lets take an example, standing at a bus stop waiting for a bus. Tired after attending 4 hour long class in which half of the lessons went over the head, you are standing thinking of your future and your immediate future of probability of catching an empty bus and as you turn your head, there is a couple standing pondering and calculating incessantly how much they spent today and need to take care this month for optimum balance. A few steps back is an old uncle whining of unjust of life to him for he has to catch bus in such old age and that too he cannot come in front and run and rush.
Everybody is just so engrossed in their own world, their domains so perfectly that we seldom look around us and see the other life just in front of us. What if each one of us would have such capability that we could read minds and hearts…how would this network flourish…… Personal firewall being broken by malicious external contents…..
Data exposed to third party…it sounds dangerous…..On contrast there would not be any need of words then….why do you need words…for expression of self…. If everything was self expressed why would we need to speak…….. that implies an egotist factor in each of us that is continuously trying to express his own needs, desires, whims and rationals…We are just hearing to what others are saying…we are not listening…….Even though we are gregarious we are living as isolated souls in our organic structures..
……At this moment m just flooded with thoughts..so will continue it later, though you might not be interested…yet another egotist factor
As promised…i am coming back with some more crap to vomit out some
irrelevant thoughts woven in some inapt words…but contextually may be
these make sense. Somehow, it is fun this time writing freely without
any grammar and expression constraints and just blabber out whatever
comes in the same sequence.
Back to the topic…Network of lives…..yea i was saying of egotist factor in all of us. While we are hearing to a conversation we try to relate the whole crux to us, if we are agreeing to any point we often say..Yes I also believe this. For a movie and a song, we somehow consciously or unknowingly find a character suitable to our perception. There is always a ‘I’ in everything, everything at all. But then again, can world exists without the concern of self. Everything that exists here in this world comes as a result of desire or need or profitability. Does actually something called ‘Selfless’ exists.
Okay a perfect example if we are to put forward, social work, but that also we are doing for peace for self, feeling good for ourselves, a sense of completion as a being by performing our moral responsibilities and if not all these because this makes us happy. Its again ‘I’, ‘Me’. In such prevalence of egotism I wonder how does this network of life flourishes.
Our actions, deeds are always endorsed by our emotions of anger, fear, happiness, envy, pride and so on. So how does such a volatile existence controls the very substantial nature of this world. I do not find my behaviour constant over time that how do I guarantee the decision made today is always correct. So that liquidify our sense of correctness and incorrectness. Now it is going more in abstract terms to apprehend the volatility of life in mortal beings. P.S. Life and Being are two different beings
or you can say different entities. So we are living in an illusion if
we think that we are controllers. At the end of the story all logics and
facts are liquidifying and are getting eliminated from what suppose to
be a complex theory but still the iota factor of this complex equation
persists and in no means i am able to incur a rationalising factor by
which I could cancel out this iota that still remains. But what is this
iota ???
Please don’t kill me for what I have written , I never said..Read it..Did I 
…
But may be one day I will just bang on with a more concrete idea…. when I am more clear how our lives are moving or how we are moving our lives .
Just as a random thought…what if ..what i am thinking is known to person standing besides me and vice versa. Lets take an example, standing at a bus stop waiting for a bus. Tired after attending 4 hour long class in which half of the lessons went over the head, you are standing thinking of your future and your immediate future of probability of catching an empty bus and as you turn your head, there is a couple standing pondering and calculating incessantly how much they spent today and need to take care this month for optimum balance. A few steps back is an old uncle whining of unjust of life to him for he has to catch bus in such old age and that too he cannot come in front and run and rush.
Everybody is just so engrossed in their own world, their domains so perfectly that we seldom look around us and see the other life just in front of us. What if each one of us would have such capability that we could read minds and hearts…how would this network flourish…… Personal firewall being broken by malicious external contents…..
Data exposed to third party…it sounds dangerous…..On contrast there would not be any need of words then….why do you need words…for expression of self…. If everything was self expressed why would we need to speak…….. that implies an egotist factor in each of us that is continuously trying to express his own needs, desires, whims and rationals…We are just hearing to what others are saying…we are not listening…….Even though we are gregarious we are living as isolated souls in our organic structures..
……At this moment m just flooded with thoughts..so will continue it later, though you might not be interested…yet another egotist factor
(September 22, 2009)
Back to the topic…Network of lives…..yea i was saying of egotist factor in all of us. While we are hearing to a conversation we try to relate the whole crux to us, if we are agreeing to any point we often say..Yes I also believe this. For a movie and a song, we somehow consciously or unknowingly find a character suitable to our perception. There is always a ‘I’ in everything, everything at all. But then again, can world exists without the concern of self. Everything that exists here in this world comes as a result of desire or need or profitability. Does actually something called ‘Selfless’ exists.
Okay a perfect example if we are to put forward, social work, but that also we are doing for peace for self, feeling good for ourselves, a sense of completion as a being by performing our moral responsibilities and if not all these because this makes us happy. Its again ‘I’, ‘Me’. In such prevalence of egotism I wonder how does this network of life flourishes.
Our actions, deeds are always endorsed by our emotions of anger, fear, happiness, envy, pride and so on. So how does such a volatile existence controls the very substantial nature of this world. I do not find my behaviour constant over time that how do I guarantee the decision made today is always correct. So that liquidify our sense of correctness and incorrectness. Now it is going more in abstract terms to apprehend the volatility of life in mortal beings. P.S. Life and Being are two different beings
or you can say different entities. So we are living in an illusion if
we think that we are controllers. At the end of the story all logics and
facts are liquidifying and are getting eliminated from what suppose to
be a complex theory but still the iota factor of this complex equation
persists and in no means i am able to incur a rationalising factor by
which I could cancel out this iota that still remains. But what is this
iota ??? Please don’t kill me for what I have written
, I never said..Read it..Did I …But may be one day I will just bang on with a more concrete idea…. when I am more clear how our lives are moving or how we are moving our lives
.Sunday, September 16, 2012
Barfi! - a delicious bite of life
Love is so simple, and people who think complicates what otherwise should not be thought upon or pondered. Barfi! the movie, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry and yet again it makes you think.
Murphy is the Santa Claus, Jhilmil is "Innocence" (using the noun intentionally), and Shruti is... Shruti is me, you, anybody else in the town. May be not regularly but I see a Shruti in me, a Shruti in everybody else around me who is acquesicing to norms, to follow the protocols and being in apprehensions, passing the legacy and propagating the cowardice.
Life ka rabse bada risk hai, koi risk na lena (Murphy aka Barfi!) :)
First time when Jhilmil is getting separated from her Daaju, her fingers did all the tussle in a hope to find that comforting touch once again.
First time when Shruti's mother fed Shruti with some pearls of wisdom, she got weakened.
First time when Murphy gets a friend who passed his test, his time stops at her.
and the rest happens.... mutely and tears roll down your cheek ... mutely yet again.. and they subtlely disharmonise your void and you are left shaken.
Murphy is the Santa Claus, Jhilmil is "Innocence" (using the noun intentionally), and Shruti is... Shruti is me, you, anybody else in the town. May be not regularly but I see a Shruti in me, a Shruti in everybody else around me who is acquesicing to norms, to follow the protocols and being in apprehensions, passing the legacy and propagating the cowardice.
Life ka rabse bada risk hai, koi risk na lena (Murphy aka Barfi!) :)
First time when Jhilmil is getting separated from her Daaju, her fingers did all the tussle in a hope to find that comforting touch once again.
First time when Shruti's mother fed Shruti with some pearls of wisdom, she got weakened.
First time when Murphy gets a friend who passed his test, his time stops at her.
and the rest happens.... mutely and tears roll down your cheek ... mutely yet again.. and they subtlely disharmonise your void and you are left shaken.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Independence is addiction
and we are living two independent lives...
do we really live together or we are just sharing each other's space that is otherwise a free time slot....
When we talk about room-mates, i say i am lucky..how easy it is to live with someone with you can share yet you can be simply you...with no questions....
a portrayal of bond..we will dine together and are affected by either one's woes... humane .. and there comes two different ways across the halls that lead to two different domains ...entirely different....i end up at my end pondering over the day's ..the month's or the year's.... (may lame thoughts before sleep)...or i would end up at scribbling down some here and there, and She would go in a different world where she would do her stuff...
threads are loosened open and are accustomed to be freely flowing now... How will they pursue when a robe (family) needs to be knitted....
Independence is addiction.... uff !!
do we really live together or we are just sharing each other's space that is otherwise a free time slot....
When we talk about room-mates, i say i am lucky..how easy it is to live with someone with you can share yet you can be simply you...with no questions....
a portrayal of bond..we will dine together and are affected by either one's woes... humane .. and there comes two different ways across the halls that lead to two different domains ...entirely different....i end up at my end pondering over the day's ..the month's or the year's.... (may lame thoughts before sleep)...or i would end up at scribbling down some here and there, and She would go in a different world where she would do her stuff...
threads are loosened open and are accustomed to be freely flowing now... How will they pursue when a robe (family) needs to be knitted....
Independence is addiction.... uff !!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
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