Felicity...just like that

Sometimes you don't need a reason to share a smile, a moment of joy and a token of love. We have always planned our visits with a defined agenda and action plan. However, this time we could not materialize our plans but that didn't refrain us from visiting there and after this visit we realized that activity is not a mandatory condition to see them smile, play and moan :), Before saying 'Hi' Preeti took my hand and asked "Itne din kahaan the, kahin bahaar gaye the kya"? I stood speechless at the moment and felt like a stupid culprit caught red-handed and now thinking of lame excuses and ofcourse when you cannot say lie to a small kid in front of you, you will end up diverting the topic the way I did. :(. This was the first token of warmth and affection we received there. Then... :)
I wont take the name of the group already present there for it would sound offensive, but the fact remains that as soon as we entered there, all kids rushed to us :) giving me immense pleasure..not a feeling of victory...but realization that though many people visit there and it is a routine for kids, we hold a special place to them.

What was different this time ??? This time they had complaints...their dissatisfaction, their disliking ....
"Didi ye game nahi...bahut pakta hai... sab log yahi karte hai na". One big difference for me this time was that I got enlightened of my incapability....;)...It took me no time to realize that we a group of 4-5 volunteers cannot handle these 34 power packed mini atom bombs (this time we had less volunteers). yes you read it right 34....30 to 34 :) 4 new kids there ...guess what it was b'day of new kid..babu :)...and he was fast asleep may be dreaming of angels and fairies.

We used to ask them questions...puzzles..but this time they were all set and ready to conquer us in all mind games.
Within 5 min they shot a Rapid fire round of puzzles.."Are ye didi to answer nahi de sakti :P". "Are in didi ko aata hoga :D"....

One thing that i should not forget to tell you about their liking for oregami. We were quite doubtful if the oregami items that we had planned would be difficult for them and what made us opine this was the pathetic performance of our volunteers (should i mention your names sudeep and abhijeet :P)...but their exuberance and dedication is unsurpassed. They even learnt Butterfly with 30 folds in a paper as appreciated by our mighty guruji, Mr Ashish waghmare - our oregami master jii...:)

There was nothing grand and no benchmark...just another visit....but worth remembering. I am too late in penning down our experience...but i can still recollect every moment precisely and vivid.

Again posting after more than an year...but sharing is always good...though the group is in a suspension mode for all volunteers are busy designing their lives as of now... to take their whims later...

Unsung Songs

written sometime back.....wondering how could i pen down this ......

Holding hands and doze off all while,
suddenly laughing unto tears,
those merry moments i recollect...
if at all i could rewind.
i'll pull off for all i whined..
for a moment of that smile again,
I could cut paste the life's game.
I would again walk by woods,
forgetting my breaths in the fogs,
Let the clouds conspire against me.
And I could hold you for all the while.
Were bigotry of dusk ever remained..
not letting the light play any game..
that damp quietness of reveries i had..
were i would never woke up....
I could lie on those sands...
and singing our unsung songs....
I wish I could hold time...
and could make you all mine....
If at all it could rewind...
I would have sung my unsung rhymes.....
I would sing my unsung rhymes ............ !!!

~
Shreya

hmmmm...

A No Internet mode ....wow..i am not even getting what can i do with my lappie without internet, and there is no great company in train that i can take my eyes off the monitor. :(

okay...saaf safaai chaalu..just organizing my data..and look what i found...bits and pieces of my write-ups..about Aarambh...about a general discussion with my friend.....an old poem....all these artifacts that i have never published and just deposited them in the tome of data...

It's so good to revisit the old write-ups..woah, i could think this way also..WOW,,,,astonished and amused by my own thinking...not because its just too great but because today i could never imagine that i would have written that poem..waahh...

the guy sitting diagonally opposite to me is curious enough that how this gal is typing on an on ..... finally he asked - "Your interner working"... i simply nodded and replied "naah" and there is a question mark on his face - "What the hell is she doing for so long then without a net connection".

Technology has really done wonders....Oops we have really become its slave...somehow this slavery seems good :D...

How boring people..they are not even talking to each other...:(...i wonder how people can sit face-to-face without communicating. That's the reason my eyes are constantly on my monitor. Glad a chirpy auntie and her daughter came in...atleast there will be some sound in this muted story...ofcourse else i will go mad thinking and thinking.... :(

The auntie and her daughter have a ticket in RAC. This reminded me of my trip to Nagpur for Sujju di's wedding (Sujju di, elder sis of my roomie Bhavana). I could not believe myself that i was going to attend a wedding even when i did not get a confirmed ticket and travelling in RAC (for i can live in discomforts, but in travel i am like a spolied brat and need luxury). But there was some kind of cohesion with Di. I met her just twice but there developed a bond and i could not miss her wedding. Infact when auntie asked me why i am not staying for Reception.... I replied - "bhavana ne bulaya hi nahi reception pe :P"....aah

I remember how excited i was to meet Bhavana's dad...a retired PI.. :) and contrary to my expectations he was so so so sweet ..yep all the while relatives and family were busy in preparations he was off the mood and trying to pretend - Oh, i am okay....Sujju di has her dad shares a special bond..yep ought to be....the first child connection.

I attended a full marathi wedding and it was awesome...more because i got a chance not only to witness it but to be a part of it. I was treated there as their own daughters and this was enough for me to be over-joyed there :)......

Bhavana was the "son" of the family..commendably she was managing things, throwing instructions, hurrying here and there...attending guests. She was just perfect ... and i admire her for this...for her independence...for the way she takes responsibility....for her compassion....for her fearleessness :)..

Oops i should not miss other characters of this event...Hemant and Ansh..I felt like killing Hemant when he caught me red-handed shedding a tear while Vidaai..... may be he didn't notice the brine from my eye.but he surely judged the emotion and i didn't like this :( :(...koi naaa....happens sometime...

There were many other things that happened, that i admired, that i just loved.....but those things should not be mentioned here....Sometimes we just devalue things by telling...Let those pleasant experiences be with me only....aah i am smiling...

and this train is hicupping...my neck has started aching now..I should look at these boring faces for sometime now. :)

Open Threads....

Some untold stories...
some unfulfilled promises...
Incomplete poems...
Blank files
some archived snaps...........lying on my desktop abridging their appreciation, devoid of the indispensable attention they deserve.
Though the cruelty of time had no bearance on their physical structure yet the lack of attention has left no stones unturned to mortalize them.
Manouvering through these valuables I came across some open threads, that i have left open unintentionally and are somehow entangled now, not giving a clue... some unsolicited phrases "Paradox within.." ....then somewhere down the page "Ziyaan hue fuzool....." and again after a Pagedown click i find 2 incomplete lines "na jaane ka sabab poocho, naa aane ki wajah..jawaab-e-tihii hue hain, na poocho koi sawaal".
Though the timestamps of all these were different with quite enough gap to allow a person forget the very existence of such thoughts ...... but then I tried to relate these and really confounded to accept the fact that I could never forget that "something haunting"...no matter how much I have tried to avoid it by not writing...perplexing me so much with little energy left for thinking .......but the weed was not eliminated..It grew and grew like anything and reflected its magnate in every second thought that would come to me...

True "there is no escapade from self".

Om gan gan ganpateya nama !!!

03-Sep-2011

Mukh-Darshan at Lalbaugh: Yes, there is something ....something special there....the aura, captivating eyes...... the Pious feeling.....the feeling of satisfaction.

Roads and the Travellers

28-Aug-2011
5:00 pm

Travelling back to Mumbai from Pune: Again a bye-bye time, Chottu is transferred to Bangalore and another link to Pune is broken.
I think the entire span of 2011 for me is to be lived in Nostalgia. Thinking of the old roads and the old travelers either makes the journey more worthwhile or actually very difficult.

That corner with many memories, the flash-backs of moments as eyes scan each part of the place. May be they know that probably this is the Last time.


As there is a novelty in saying the "First times", there is immense pain in saying "Last time".. Oops...I genuinely didn't like anything about 2011 :(.

Mumbai Potpourri

My first few days with Mumbai...

I had never dreamt in the dreadiest of my nightmares that i will land up in mumbai for job, for i was so scared of this city owing to what newspapers write and and what i had always heard of, But sometimes as they say, Destiny plays its part.

So far so good, this is what i can sum up as of now, though i could really find certain things that are highly appealing and interesting here.
and as my friend told me --

"I will either stick to Mumbai or will never ever see this place again".. Who knows what is in my platter.

My first day: -

Early in the morning, glancing across the clarity of glass, enjoying rains from the 11th floor of an apartment. Yes I am inside for balconies here is a concept forgotten long back :)..this is where i encountered the mundane:  Space Crunch, but again this would not imply crunch in availability of space. In a small 1BHK of a decent apartment a complete family can dwell happily :)...so not a crunch in moral sense. 

I am here at my di's place as i am still "be-ghar" ..house hunt is on. Either i dislike the place, or the owner refuses or the roomies not available. Owing to all these simple excuses i am staying at her place shamelessly. Everyday Mumbai reaches out of its home to reach their DAFTARS..yes this is one thing that i have always heard "mumbai kabhi rukti nahi hai"..yes witnessed this truth and amazingly everybody is so strictly following this very simple funda. There is one thing that amazed me and that connects everybody around here..that is commonness. This is one place where i have seen people craving for uniqueness and yet plunged in their similarities and being common. They are not sorry of being part of a crowd, instead they are proud of it. :)

A very simple rule of being happy ....

My story continues: -

As each day passes by, I witness the simple truths that i have either heard as dialogues in famous bollywoods- "Mumbai kabhi soti nahi". 11:00 clock in the night, coming from lower Parel to Thane local station, a long queue that actually took U-turn to form a replica of it making the waiting time more than double. Sorry i forgot to mention, this long queue was waiting for their turn for Autos :D. Yes first time ever in my life i saw this much discipline for a relatively austere means of transport and that too after

encountering the Locals. I might not understand the station for i am also cursed with the female's biggest drawback of being geographically challenged, my friend took me to General Dabba of local. imagine how did i get into it..... First local we missed to make me familiar with how poeple are gettin in and may be because of the traumatised look that i gave when people were trying to board in. :D. I admit i was. For second local i somehow gained that courage and some and a magical push (it was through the crowd :)) dragged me

in and so my frie nd. Earlier i was quite conscious for being the only girl amidst hundreds of stinking men, yes you read it right stinking. In 5 min, i just realised that none of them is even bothered if a girl is standing there. That was a feeling of WOW !! Being a female, i can definitely say that any girl would just love this feeling of not being eyed upon in such a big crowd, Best part of Mumbai..yes again i admit,,,i just loved that WOW feeling. Within a moments of my comfort i asked my friend to shift a little bit towards door to allow my nasals to breathe some of the fresh air particles. Did you just notice what time i was referring to 11:00 clock in the night and yes train was completely full, to which my friend told me its normal...u see in the peak hour, and i

was simply awestruck :O

That "dhad-dhad-dhad-dhad" of train was actually seeming musical in the darkness of night creating a rhythm, and i started enjoying that local ka ride (though i still will not go
alone, until i have a friend with me :D).

Few days later...

Finally i got a "chhat"...a so called home...that actually is bit less than my previous one because the one is Pune was smaller but full of laughter, chit chats, friendly abuses and a we like SHOR was there that made me feel lively in a home away from home.

People ....this is what maketh Mumbai.... people in hurry, people keeping patience, people helping each other..actually there is such a big population that you can't miss any variety :). language, culture .....but all are mumbaian from heart. Sometimes it feels good also if you find people with such throbbing nerve, a craze for something for that matter they call it their "Swaabhimaan"...and i respect it.

After some more days....

One thing that i am still missing here is "Apnapan"... Pune is also not my hometown, but i can so easily relate to Pune as "apna pune", may be its too early to comment, because i am still in quest and may be because of that inherent fear that is preventing me from socialising much and making friends. I will wait fot the cceptance till i get it.

tahayyur-e-waqt
tahyyur-e-shaksh

tahayyur hai ham !!!

aaine mein dikhta shaks kuchh badla sa lagta hai...
ye hum-shakl bhi  ghair andekha sa hi lagta hai..

maanind nain-naksh mein tahayyur-e-jazbaat hain....

Aaaah...after one year..

We just got a mail today that there is some surveillance audit and our PCs should be free from our personal stuff and in task of clearing the things i just happened to see these notes...ahaa last 1 year just flash-backed...

the first day in capgemini...9th Aug 2010..a confused face and a heavy file but luckily escorted with a dear friend and thus seemed no worries... then there was a period of frustation of emptiness and hollowness around for the heart was still in the old times and physically i had moved to a new location.... then work and more work and very hectic schedules (loved this period)....and then a lean period followed and i am an unemployed employed (not liking being idle :()... and there is Mumbai in my breaths now :) yes it is...

I am now quite accustomed to Buses, trains, autos, meru, easycabs....yea i can now move in this place....

I still long for Pune from deep inside (it was my first love..i had bestest of my moments there). One day when "i am rich" i will buy a "chhat" in Pune.... i know Pune is in my nerves now....and Mumbai is settling to my breaths.... given a choice i would not leave the place....though i will add to one more to the unwanted crowd for local guys here but i dont feel the place is some other for me..I feel like i belong to this place... (and believe me i will do no harm to your culture or will pose any insecurity to your jobs, i will stay as a good citizen, witnessing, acting and reacting and yes there is something bad about you as well... your rigidity...may be one day i am able to crack this nut and make you realise the sweetness of assortment). but again must say despite the rigidity in minds and beliefs, Mumbai Potpourri does exist in deeds.. 

I was an atheist turned to an agnostic and after knowing people here i know why mom stressed on "Dharma-Karma", what "Shraddha" means ...... suddenly i am realising things....suddenly i am a transformed person.....suddenly i am grown up (obviously it seems to be an over hyped statement here for the lack of facts and evidences but its true).

After this whole long year...i have accepted the place (though Pune remains my first love), but it is still a question to me ....have i been accepted here (Maharashtra)... ???

I get no answers... :(

One thing i really want to remark - "I am not loosing my originality, my individuality. I am just enhancing myself".... Same applies everywhere..Wish i could break the rigidity.... as I have broken mine.... Mumbai brought me closer to God.... to real....to myself (1 year of loneliness --- quite a good teacher).

What's next for me ???? let's see.....